Not Again!

July 8th, 2005 by SCG | Filed under Main.

Reason #10 not to live in South Florida.

Hurricane Dennis, currently a category 4 hurricane, approaches Florida. C’mon, it’s just July for crying out loud! Not even August yet! And we have Dennis blasting through the Caribbean?
I haven’t even inventoried my hurricane panels yet. Wonder where my wife put all those wing nuts? Duct tape, have to purchase duct tape. Not that I’ve ever used it, but it’s a ritual.

For those of you who don’t understand the rating system for hurricanes, allow me to help ya out.

Category 1 = Many of the new urban trees the city planted will fall down. Trailers could be damaged. You will lose your garbage can if you don’t secure it. Denny’s remain open,

Category 2 = The rest of the urban trees will be blown into the next county. Trailers will be damaged and some tipped over. Denny’s will be closed, but IHOP remain open.

Category 3 = One or two of the remaining real trees (those that the idiots with the city haven’t gotten to yet) will start leaning. Your lawn furniture is showing up on the Miami International Airport’s radar, approaching runway 12. IHOP remains open.

Category 4 = The trailers are now also showing up on the MIA radar screens. IHOP remain open.

Category 5 = The workers of the local IHOP are now showing up on the radar screens of MIA, developers are already planning what to build on the former trailer park sites, and your wife is screaming into your ear about moving out of this godforsaken place.

Peace out people.
(And send some prayers along the projected path of Dennis please.)

6 Responses to “Not Again!”

  1. OG says:

    My prayers are with you. The category rating is perfect. That is how I remembered it in Florida. Much the same in Louisiana too. What the heck is the duct tape for anyway. I still have some I bought during the season in 99 when I was in Florida.

  2. LB says:

    How do the Floridians do it? Why do you guys still stay there? Move away from the GOdforsaken place! (I always knew people residing in Florida were missing some brain cells.) Your wife is right. She must have all the brain cells.

  3. I’m grow up in Minnesota, I think that my old boss must have managed an IHOP. Snow storms or tornados, we still worked. I thought I was smart because I moved away….then I married Dennis….I guess there is no real place to hide.

    Dennis always keeps me busy with prayer.

  4. SCG says:

    Well, I was born in Miami. Been through tons of storms. Generally, it adds excitement to an otherwise boring summer. Summer in Florida sucks. Lots of heat. Humidity. Nothing going on, nothing to do. Winter is our Spring, when everyone comes out to play. So, a little storm every five years or so is fun. But four times in one year….that’s a bit too much fun.

    SCG

  5. Pete says:

    SCG,
    What have you guys done to the place? I lived there for 5 yrs, the most I saw was the pancakes fly, but not because of storms.

  6. Hurricane! says:

    Not Again!

    Again!…

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